ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A very clever young man has made it clear to his partner and those within earshot that the movie he just saw wasn’t as good as the book he read.

Conor Pigment reluctantly went to see It yesterday evening with his girlfriend, Poncho Duggert, despite him telling her that the film won’t be as good as the book – or the previous film adaption for that matter.

“I just think it was a bit two-dimensional,” said Conor.

“The film lacked the character development and the depth you get from an eleven-hundred-page novel. Plus, I thought the scares were a bit cheap and too Hollywood. The book is really more of a head-fuck – like it scares your soul, it doesn’t just scare you for the sake of being scared,”

“All in all, I’d give it a 6/10. It entertained me but I didn’t really enjoy myself, if you know what I mean. I was left wanting.”

However, Poncho failed to echo Connor’s sentiments.

The 24-year-old leasing agent told The Advocate that she hadn’t read the book and didn’t plan on doing so.

“I don’t care if the book was better,” she told Conor.

“To be honest, I just came here to get two hours of peace. I can just turn my brain off and be entertained by an etch clown who kills people,”

“I’m proud of you for being smart enough to read the book and digest it sufficiently to compare it to a movie, that must take some serious hubris. It’s just that I don’t care about it so shut up and drive us home.”

More to come.



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