21 April, 2017. 12:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Bondi Beach ticker tape parade is said to be planned for celebrity lifestyle guru Pete Evans next week after he discovered that the popular animal-tranquiliser-cum-party-drug can be part of a healthy paleo diet – a way of life he’s said to have pioneered.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning via Skype from inside his East Sydney compound, Evans said that his disciples are now seeing years of hard work and research paying off.

“Scientists have confirmed that ketamine is paleo – and vegan. Let us rejoice,” said Evans.

“I want to state emphatically for the record that I DO NOT do drugs and I’ll never advocate the use of illegal drugs such as ketamine, but it’s helpful for others who choose to live a fresh, local and healthy lifestyle that the cheeky keys they do in disabled toilets over the weekend aren’t contributing to their ill-health,”

“It’s just such a great day.”

In response to Paleo Pete’s groundbreaking breakthrough, the people of Bondi, in Sydney’s exclusive eastern province, have organised a ticker tape parade next week to thank him for his services to ketamine and the wider Bondi community.

Tickets to the parade are $89 and available from all local health food shops.

More to come.

 

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