28 April, 2017. 10:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Foreign Minister Julie Bishop has asked the Great Leader of North Korea to consider a nuclear strike against the Indonesia island of Bali before attacking the Australian mainland.

Kim Jong-un announced his intention to bomb Darwin earlier this week as thousands of US military personnel flood into the Top End capital.

“If he wants to kill Australians, then he should flatten Bali first,” said Bishop.

“There’s more of us there than in Darwin. Plus the ones over there are quite bottom shelf, if you know what I mean. Fuck, 90% of my time is wasted on Bali-related problems. Kim Jong-un would be doing me a huge solid if he turned that international bogan convention into a glass bowl.”

However, the Foreign Minister’s comments haven’t gone without criticism.

Speaking to The Advocate via wireless telephone earlier today, local holidaymaker Willis Bedbump said he would rather the foreign minister ‘mind her own business’ and ‘not fan the flames of nuclear war’.

“Mate, I’m in Bali now. If they nuke the place, I’d be fucked,” he said.

“But if I wake up in the morning with methanol poisoning again and a bad case of road rash, fuck it. Nuke me.”

More to come.



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