KEVIN DOUGLAS | Local News | Contact

Speaking to The Advocate through an artificial buzz that only a sleepless night and a quadruple shot flat white can give you, one local chicken farmer said his planned evening of rest was interrupted by his own sense of self-dissatisfaction.

Morin Heidelberg, a seventh-generation West Betootanese chicken farmer, said his current financial and social situations haven’t really bothered him of late – but that’s until he tries to go to sleep.

“I dunno, hey?” he said.

“I know everything is OK and I’m fine but these scenarios where I’m not run through my mind every night before I drift off to sleep,”

“Doesn’t happen often. However, sometimes I just can’t put my mind at ease enough to go to sleep. Strange but not cause for alarm.”

Dr Heidi Rotherchild, a prominent Old City district general practitioner, took time out of her busy afternoon of prescribing Valium to people to speak to The Advocate about insomnia and other associated afflictions.

She was able to confirm that Mr Heidelberg’s situation is becoming all to common.

“I mean, he’s only 29,” she said.

“He should just stop worrying about things and go to sleep, stop being so silly,”

“I’d suggest he start an exercise regime and stop eating so much ramen. Eat a piece of fruit or something.”

More to come.


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