7 April, 2016. 13:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

AS THE AMERICAN FOOTBALL SEASON begins to warm up, millions of Australians are bracing for the tsunami of pseudo-news-articles about former rugby league player Jarryd Hayne’s every move.

Last season was especially difficult for many people, as a government report found that only 3% of Australians care about Jarryd Hayne’s transition to gridiron and only half of that number think Fox Sports News does a good job reporting on it.

Though it’ll first be introduced as a trial, there’s an option to extend the feature’s capability to filter out anything to do with Jarryd Hayne for the whole season.

The news has been welcomed by millions of social media users around the nation, who were bombarded by Hayne-related journalism last year whenever the 28-year-old took to the field.

“Look, I’ve got nothing against the bloke. Power to him and I’m glad he’s having a crack, but I don’t really give a fuck about what he does,” said 23-year-old Blake Diverts

“But God grab my ears and fuck my pretty little mouth, I knew whenever he touched the ball last year. If a plane crashed into the Harbour Bridge, it’d be the second biggest news event of the day if Jarryd Hayne caught the fucking ball.”

Sources within Facebook have said the company is responding to feedback from the wider online community regarding the sporting sensation, taking into account that not everybody in the free world wants to know if Jarryd Hayne left the bench for 5 minutes.

Speaking on the phone with The Advocate this afternoon, Jay Cronin from Facebook’s NRL to NFL Transition Department said users has voted with their clicks regarding the issue.

“From the data we collected last season, we’ve decided to implement a feature that blocks out all Jarryd Hayne content from your News Feed, should you not be interested,” said Cronin.

“We thought everybody would be interested in the guy, seeing as though he’s an Aussie doing awesome shit. Turns out only a fraction of Australia follows rugby league and only a tiny fraction of them can spell Jarryd Hayne’s name.”


  1. Agreed, boycott Waleed Aly – im all for political correctness but the guy dissed Warnie on tv, its just unaustralian. Send him home the fucktard


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