14 May, 2017. 10:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

As if things couldn’t get any worse for US actor Johnny Depp, the deadly new strain of canine parvovirus that’s sweeping the nation currently has been linked back to his infamous dogs, Pistol and Boo.

Scientists from Australia’s peak scientific body narrowed down the origin of the virus after comparing it to a similar strain of the virus that comes from North America.

“We knew it came from either the United States or Canada,” said CSIRO researcher Melissa Downey.

“From there, we narrowed down and tested each of the dogs and other canines that arrived from that continent – but each result came back negative. That’s when it hit us like a sledgehammer. It was the only dogs to arrived from America that we didn’t test,”

“It was Pistol and Boo.”

The news is music to the ears of the deputy prime minister, who was openly lampooned in the US media and disappointing referred to as an ’embarrassment’ by the nation’s own left wing media.

This afternoon, Barnaby Joyce said he felt vindicated but equally worried about the ramifications the parvovirus will have on the county’s natural gifts.

“What did I tell you cunts?” said Joyce.

“This is what happens when you don’t take biosecurity seriously. Horrible destructive tragedies such as the one we’re seeing now happen. Who’s the idiot now, Waleed? Fucking guy. Anyway, I’ve got to get to work containing this now so come down to Public Bar and I’ll tell you more tonight.”

The Advocate reached out to the offices of Channel 10 for comment, but couldn’t find the right Frankston caravan The Project’s production office is now in.

More to come.


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