Following a poorly-received attempt at describing the premise of a book he has been reading, local dad Alan Britton (59) has excused himself from his own dinner party to try and figure out where he put it.

Not one of the fifteen guests offered to join Mr Britton, due to his poorly timed departure from the dinner table which was the exact moment his wife, Annie, unveiled the main course of the evening.

The book, which both Annie and Alan were gifted by their bright and promising middle son Ben, has been a big hit with just about every single person that has visited since.

Alan just can’t get enough of the colourful language and unbridled assault on Australian media and politics that he hasn’t seen in many years.

After twenty minutes of rummaging through a big row of bookshelves in the family’s master bedroom, many of the guests are visibly slowing down on their main course, so as to not be finished before Alan returns with the book.

“Alan, please. You can show them after you eat!” yells Annie in a jovial tone that hides the searing rage currently pulsating through her menopausal body.

“No. I’m sure it’s in here. Peter is going to love this yarn about the cricketers. It’s a classic!” he shouts from the bedroom.

“I just don’t know how they get away with the stuff [chuckles]”

Annie Britton has now taken to encouraging the guests to finish their meals without Alan at the table.


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