17 April, 2017. 17:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Using data collected from the 2016 census, a team of researchers at the nation’s peak scientific body have developed a breakthrough joke that can’t offend anybody.

The CSIRO revealed the laugh at a special public holiday press conference this afternoon in a designated safe space on Sydney’s Lower West Side.

In accordance with currently and necessary protocol, a questionnaire was distributed to those attending the unveiling of the joke – asking them what their triggers are, just to be on the safe side.

“This joke is the culmination of nearly two weeks’ research,” said project leader Dylonion Asma.

“The team trawled through data, leaving no triggering stone unturned. What we came up with is a safe joke that’s sure to get a few belly laughs from the public.”

Revealing the joke to the restless crowd, Asma didn’t waste any time telling the joke once the noise died down and everybody had shared their preferred pronoun with one another.

There’s a cisgender privately educated white male having a seizure in your bath, what do you do? Throw your washing in!

The room erupted into a mild laugh.

More to come.


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