23 November, 2016. 15:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

SPORTING A CLASSIC GREG Chappell cricket hat and a briefcase full of dreams, former politician turned besieged company director Clive Palmer arrived today in the Kingdom of Thailand on a quest to find that island from 2000’s The Beach.

While many official guidebooks suggest that Ko Phi Phi Leh is the island setting in which the film was shot on, but the 1996 novel that the movie was adapted from describes a different place entirely.

“That’s the place I’m trying to find,” explained Palmer. “Not that Westernised quagmire that’s packed to the brim with liquored-up Irishmen and women from the British midlands. I’m looking for The Beach.”

Controversy surrounding the 62-year-old’s business activities has seen him dragged in and out of court for much of the year, leading some to conclude that the new, svelte and sporty Clive Palmer is just trying to get away from it all.

Now that the former Member for Fairfax has shed over 20kg through strong self-discipline and Lite’n’Easy, Mr Palmer finally feels up to slashing his way through the rainforest and swim the against powerful tides of the Malaca Strait.

“I’m fitter than I’ve ever been and I feel great. I feel powerful as an ox, I could break Gordon Tallis’ arms like twigs,” said Palmer, via Skype.

“I’ve made a few new mates in the hostel here. It’s a pretty good way to live. Anyway mate, I’m best be off. I’ll give you a bell when I get to The Beach, wish me luck.”

We here at The Advocate do wish you luck, Clive. Safe travels.

More to come.


  1. I don’t wish him well. Feed the reef sharks with your own lard and burn in hell you nickel-worker -sacking scumbag. You’ve got the ethics of a Calcutta sewer rat.


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