15 April, 2016. 12:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

LEGISLATION PASSING OVER THE DESK of Clive Palmer will no longer be covered in pencil and eraser marks because the Member for Fairfax has been awarded an honorary pen licence from his alma mater, The University of Queensland.

Since the happy-go-lucky mining magnate entered the House of Representatives, his fellow parliamentarians have lampooned him for writing on and drafting official documents with a Staedtler 2B leaded pencil.

“It was always funny to see a bill or amendment come over your desk covered in rubbed out pencil and little doodles,” said Deputy Greens leader Adam Brandt.

“If you got anything with pencil on it, you knew Clive had seen it.”

But now it seems the egg is on the face of the Member for Melbourne because Palmer spent this morning at his local Officeworks selecting a number of pens to use in his final months in federal politics.

The 62-year-old left the stationary supply store with a handful of Uni-Ball Gel Impact roller pens in a cheery spectrum of colours and shades. But he wasn’t able to walk past the pencil aisle without picking up a 120-piece artist pack of colouring pencils from premium brand Derwent.

“I’m glad all of those passive aggressive remarks regarding my penmanship will end now,” said Palmer.

“Perhaps the prime minister will stop trying finishing his emails to me with a link to the Reading Writing Hotline, too. But I can’t get that 1300 655 506 jingle out of my head though,”

“Anyway, I’d like to thank the gown people at The University of Queensland for giving me this honor and I will be glad to make a contribution in the future.”

Palmer didn’t let an earlier incident this morning ruin his day, where he was accosted by a young ABC Radio journalist outside King’s College. He karate chopped the reporter in the throat before disappearing into the crowd.

The 22-year-old journalist collapsed and was rushed to the nearest St Johns Ambulance tent where he received treatment. No charges are expected to be laid.


  1. my interest was aroused at the articles heading, I was most curious to knowing
    which type pen Clive was licensed to sty, Well penned my friends.


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