CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
In an unprecedented move, a Perth girl has gone a whole day without talking, or at least posting about, a trip to Bali.
Local man and a Facebook friend of the girl, Adam Blake made the remarkable discovery Sunday morning.
“This girl I went to primary school with popped up in my newsfeed because she was tagged in a Justgirlythings meme and it dawned on me,” he said
“She hadn’t so much as checked in to KuDeTa in more than twelve (12) months.”
“I couldn’t believe it at first, so I went through her profile and, sure enough, not one recent photo of her at a yoga retreat juxtaposed with a snapchat screenshot of her holding a mojito. Unbelievable.”
“She must have discovered another country or something. Either that or she’s been hit with a woeful case of dysentry,”
At press time, it was still unclear why the Indo-dodger had failed to mention her annual trip which otherwise was thought mandatory for every Australian under 30 to have ever created a social media account.
The Betoota Advocate’s investigations indicate that she had a trip planned with a young man she met at GPO Nightclub six weeks ago (“b.a.l.i.d.r.e.a.m.i.n.g | can’t wait 
– with Jamie Thorne”) but that same young man is currently on the Indonesian island with an anonymous blonde who is not the subject of this story.
Is it a coincidence that, as a Queensland newspaper, you’re babbling (almost incoherently) about Bali at a time when Mercedes Corby (now with her own restaurant) has been in consultation with a cosmetics company to produce a new range of feminine fragrances, called “Schapelle”.
“……..a snapchat screenshot of her holding a mojito…..”
A mojito?
Well fuck me from behind with a stook of mint sprig sheaves, do you folks still drink mojitos? Yawny yawny cunt cunt! That aguardiente is rather passé now. Innit.
Chicha de Muko is where it’s at!
Or these……
http://sterculianrhetoric.blogspot.ca/2016/10/drinks.html
Besides, Bali is normally too full of foreigners for my xenophobic predilections. The Balinese are fine though. I’d rather take my chances with the dragons on Komodo rather than endure another lame Aussie chat-up line.