A fully grown adult who isn’t at school anymore says he feels like cracking a few beers, because that’s the kind of drink that blokes like him enjoy drinking.

“Yeahh… I feel like a couple cold TEDs” says Julian, a 17-year-old from the cotton-wool-wrapped inner-north suburbs of Brisbane.

“Or maybe some Carlton Drort [Draught]”

NSW and Victorian school leavers are currently on day four of their ‘schoolies’ celebration on the Gold Coast and other disgusting beach locations throughout the Eastern Seaboard. Police says hundreds of legends have already been arrested on drug-related charges.

However, with only a couple pingers floating around their seven-room apartment that cost $7000 for the week Julian says its not so much about the drugs – but more about the ice cold beer for a hard earned thirst after a big year doing exams.

Jules, or J-dog as he sometimes refers to himself, has had like an entire carton over the last two days, and it’s only making him thirstier.

While one of his mates suggests getting something a little bit sweeter, like Pineapple Cruisers of Passionfruit UDLs, Julian is quick to tell him that he isn’t a man – and insists through grit teeth that all he wants to do is drink beers and be a bloke.

“Nah fuck that lollie water, mate” he says through grit teeth.

“Lets drink beers”


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here