Waking up to another day doing it tough, Barnaby Joyce has decided to treat himself to a takeaway coffee this morning.

However, unlike those flushed with cash, the Member for New England did so fiscally responsibly, by getting a good deal on his morning cuppa.

The recently-povo former Deputy Prime Minister of Australia, ordered a $1 7-eleven cappuccino on his already struggling Afterpay account.

“You need to treat yourself every now and then,” explained the financially hamstrung politician.

“Or treat the missus. This is for Vikki anyway”

“But yeah, still waiting for my electorate allowance to come through, so yeah, had to bang this one on the old AfterPay.”

“I’ll pay it back in four fortnightly 25 cents payments”

However, in an uncharacteristic turn of events, Barnaby Joyce broke free from the usual National Party model of disrespecting the environment at any given opportunity – opting to use a keep cup for his take-away coffee.

“Vikki thinks I’m going to the Campos joint down the road” he said while winking and tapping the side of his nose”

“I’ve been doing this for years…”

“Talk about fiscally conservative, socially progressive… Look at this dumb keepcup haha”

The Member For New England then began to put on a regal Sydneysider accent before prancing through the store.

“Ooooh look at me! I’m Malcolm Turnbull!” he eloquently announced, before going red in the face with laughter.

“Ha ha ha ha!”


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