ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

What the full effect Donald Trump’s leaked tax returns will have the US election remains to be seen.

But Australians around the country are feeling thankful this morning that we’ve never had a billionaires who’s openly minimised their tax bill against the spirit of the law.

Some in the media have drawn comparisons to the late Kerry Packer, who told a senate inquiry in 1991 that any Australian who doesn’t minimise their tax ought to have their head read – because the government is largely useless and we shouldn’t as a nation be donating any more than we have to.

But it’s unique within the Australian psyche to hate the government and be enterally suspicious of the dishonest, mouth-breathing narcissists that find themselves involved with politics on the whole.

Even when you’re a billionaire.

Speaking to The Advocate this morning, Byron Carlisle, an accounting lecturer at the prestigious South Betoota Polytechnic College School of Book Cooking, explained that the biggest difference between what Donald Trump and Kerry Packer is that people liked Kerry because he embodied a lot of what it meant to be “Australian”.

“People aspired and still aspire to be somewhat like Kerry, whereas not many aspire to be Donald Trump. Which is not too abstract of a theory. Kerry loved and played sport, Donald has type 2 diabetes,” said Professor Carlisle.

“Kerry died just before his media empire was smothered to death by the internet and the fact he viewed the technology as a passing fad. But Kerry was loved. He hated the government just as much as the guitar-strumming Arts major out there on the quadrangle lawn,”

“To say that Australia has never had a billionaire who’s openly minimise their tax bill is correct – because while Kerry was still incredibly wealthy, he did pay a fuck load of tax in the scheme of things. And what was the Keating Government going to do with all the extra tax dollars? Renovate another theatre?”

“Plus, I’ve had a look over these tax returns of the President. He’s worth something like negative a billion dollars. Look out the window, that student sleeping on the grass out there. He’s richer than Trump right now,

“On paper.”

More to come.


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