The Australian Broadcasting Corporation has today announced that they do not care how many people actually watch their Sunday night line up of British soap operas –  they will continue to broadcast “Call The Midwife” and “Doc Martin” out of respect to a small faction of viewers who claim to be intelligent enough to appreciate English humour more than the Australian sense.

“It’s just paying homage to our long-standing relationship with the BBC” says Mark Walter Scott AO, who has been managing director of the Australian Broadcasting Corporation since 2006.

“If you want Scotty Cam, go watch one of the bogan TV networks, if you want biting intelligent comedy and well-written nostalgic English drama, come to the ABC,”

With every single employee of the public broadcaster still enjoying their mandatory eight week holidays, the ABC is still going strong with their endless stream of weird British shit that mum’s pretend to enjoy.

While the commercial networks spent sunday night battling it out with high-rating reality television and sensationalised investigative news, the Australian Broadcasting Corporation spent one of the most important television slots to broadcast reruns of “Britain’s Best TV Dramas” – stripped straight from the BBC.

“In fact, I was absolutely livid when Channel Seven first got the rights to Downton Abbey. It’s definitely more of an ABC kind of  show. The Australian broadcaster is the best place to find British television. It’s our thing” says Walter

“I guess you could say we are denial. No one under 30 watches television anyway, unless it’s live sport… Which we don’t have much of.

“We are more focused on this new style of British lifestyle shows. Jack Irish can go straight to Iview for all I care… It’s all about Escape To The Country”

In a 2014 Nielsen’s Survey, over 90% of Australian audiences said they would rather watch back-to-back reruns of The Simpsons and Seinfeld episodes for their rest of their lives, as opposed to watching bizarre and irrelevant British television programs set in the colonial English countryside.

Local ABC enthusiast, Char Donét (42) says that she doesn’t blame the ABC for trying to broadcast tasteful television.

“I don’t blame them at all. At least someone is broadcasting witty subtle comedy. It doesn’t even have to British… But I hate to say it, the Brits do it best,”

“Australians need to be more like the British. They are so funny,”

Kath & Kim and Russel Coight are the definition of Australia’s cultural cringe. Give me Monty Python any day or Mr Bean any day,”

The interview was cut short when Ms Donét refused to stop quoting the Monty Python’s Holy Grail.

“It’s just a flesh wound! [laughter]”

“Meep meep! [laughter]”

BELOW: The most impressive video to be broadcast by the ABC last year.

ABC Lateline InterviewIn case you missed it, here’s our full interview on Lateline last night.

Posted by The Betoota Advocate on Friday, 11 March 2016


  1. They don’t have any money but prefer to keep a stiff upper lip. Hence the British BBC dramas which they get for free. No-one in Britain watches them either.


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