29 March, 2017. 9:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A Carindale man has revealed to The Advocate this morning that he and his wife only became members of their local Hillsong Church because they offered free childcare – something that usually cost him close to $100 a day.

Thinking he was the only parishioner with a cunning childcare ruse, Glenn Turnpike learned quickly that almost everyone else singing to Jesus around him each Sunday night was also just there for the complimentary childcare.

“Look, don’t get me wrong, I’m a religious as the next bloke and yeah I’m pretty worried about these childcare workers are going to fill my kid’s head with this Bible shit, but at least it’s free,” said the 41-year-old.

“I can clap my hands and stomp my feet along to songs and sing the praises of Jesus and whatnot for free childcare. It’s just around the corner in Mt Gravatt as well. Fuckin’ 5-10 minute drive each morning. Piece of piss. I’d recommend it, just make sure to keep an eye on the kid – make sure they don’t get to chummy with the Lord.”

A recent, clandestine survey conducted by a government intelligence agency has backed up the claims made by Mr Turnpike and found that close to 90% of Hillsong members aren’t really buying the Jesus, but they’re loving the perks that come with being in a cult.

More to come.


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