CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
A new study has found that the age-old rivalry between Holden drivers and Ford drivers has been found to be nothing more than a hyper-masculine equivalent of star-signs.
That’s according to a recent report by Australian and New Zealand Guild of Registered Year-Round Motoring Enthusiasts Network (ANGRYMEN).
Lead researcher Tracey Chapman says that after surveying over 10,000 of car-owners from each side of the great divide, the report found that the phenomena is solely based on mood types and personality traits.
“What we have found is that the emotions and behavioural nuances that are usually spread across the 12 seperate Zodiac signs, are split between two brands of muscle cars”
“Even since the manufacturing was shipped offshore, we’ve seen the DNA remain in the consumer archetypes”
The study found that Holden owners were more likely to offer rides to mates and showed signs of selflessness not seen in the assertive control freak Ford owners.
“Holden owners will light themselves on fire to keep others warm” she said.
“Where as Ford owners are more likely to dot the is and cross the ts – they are so organised like that”
While other brands of car owners are known for their very own archetypes, majority of Australians fit into either Holden or Ford.
“We know that Subaru drivers are the Taurus of cars. In that they are always on the front food and quite stubborn. Hence their popularity amongst suburban mums and mid-tier cocaine dealers”
However as the report found, the main difference between star signs and car brands is the likelihood of discontinuation, and the travelling personality types that are forced to find new cars that align with their personality.
“Other discontinued car makes include Great Wall, the Capricorn of cars. Who pick and choose their year and personality depending on their mood. Much like the constant reinvention of the Chinese SUV”
“The once powerful creative archetype of the Saab owner has since been re-channelled into a split of Volvo and Mazda”
