CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The desecration of an Australian icon continues today, as domestic passengers across the country continue to develop a deep loathing for our flagship carrier.
From wedding-ruining delays, to cancelled flights, Qantas and it’s subsidiary airline Jetstar stands as a testament to the extreme decline in service that comes from replacing swathes of experienced staff with cheaper labour hire.
Despite the billions of tax-payer dollars they received at the height of the pandemic, Australia’s once proudest brand has now replaced the NSW Blues as the most reliably disappointing organisation in the country.
But today Qantas CEO Alan Joyce has taken it one further, with a luggage disaster that rivals the 2000 Tom Hanks movie Castaway.
Melbourne man, Aaron Pawar has arrived in the Queensland capital today on the 8:30am flight, only to discover that his luggage has been sent to the the wrong Brisbane.
The Betoota Advocate spoke to this deflated passenger moments after he had recieved the news that Alan Joyce had accidentally sent his luggage to the wrong continent.
“Yeah my bag made it’s way to Brisbane, I know that much”
“But it’s the wrong Brisbane”
“Brisbane, North Dakota”
Aaron sighs as he begins trying to plan his next steps, like thousands of passengers currently standing in rammed airports around the country.
“I’m actually quite impressed with Alan Joyce here” he says, attempting to wring a laugh out of this spectacular fuck up.
“He somehow managed to
“Fucks me where it’s gonna land. I just googled the place and it’s a ghost town. It’s last resident died in 1910”
“The closest town is in the Standing Rock Indian Reservation. This place is actually in the middle of nowhere”
Aaron joins an entire planeload of similarly distressed passengers, who now have to figure out how to get their belongings back from the roadside of the remote Upper Midwest of the United States.
“I asked the poor Qantas lady at the counter about my next move”
“She reckons they can get me on a flight to Minneapolis this time next week. But it’s gonna cost me 10 grand”
“I think that’s what she said anyway. She doesn’t seem to know much about air travel”
“She only got inducted by a third party contractor yesterday”
