CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the horror of pandemic lockdowns well behind us, Australian society has since returned to the normality of exercising in 24-hour gyms and forgetting how much it costs them.
The 10 kilometre ‘walks’ with friends are a thing of the past, as are the home weights and sourdough kits.
In fact, all of the once very real hobbies and self-improvement regime are completely out the window, as Australians return to the daily grind.
The disposable money that was once pooled from a clear social calendar and JobKeeper payments, has been eviscerated by by a cost of living crisis.
This means no more extravagant online purchases, no more 12-hour experiments in the kitchen, and no more uninterrupted home fitness regimes.
However, there is one last reminder of those solitary years that lives on – in the laundrys and garages of many delusional middle class Australians.
The Peloton Bike.
Once a beacon of hope in the face of uncertain times, this piece of stationary exercise equipment was meant to be the ticket to a perfect physique and long-life, with tens of thousands of Australians creating year-long backlogs of orders as a result of vain fantasies that they would spend two hours a day on the damn thing.
However, in most cases, that was never to be.
This can be blamed on the fact that the initial lockdowns had already ended by the time the bike arrived, compounded by that scary scene in the Sex & The City reboot where Mr Big suffered a fatal heart attack in the throes of Pelotonising himself into a sweaty dead corpse.
However, even during the subsequent 2021 lockdowns, this revolutionary piece of media-infused fitness technology never got a start.
To this day, it now serves as nothing more than a clothing rack for dirty and drying laundry – while still charging the owners 44 bucks a month for all of the cool virtual road journeys that have never been explored.
In fact, the lockdown-era Peloton Bike is almost at the point where the monthly payments match the initial $1500 purchase.
But still, it lives on. As do the dreams of the yet-to-be actioned winter shred.
