Electronics retailer JB Hi-Fi has this week celebrated a surprise milestone during the pandemic, with the revelations that their Betoota Heights franchise has unwittingly hired the first employee in the company’s history to not have gaping spacers in his ears.

“This was a first for us” says Glenn Colmslie, general manager of the Betoota Heights store.

“I didn’t even notice. That’s how much of a scramble we are in to get boots on the ground in and out of lockdowns”

“But once I noticed this young blokes bare naked ear lobes, I thought I’d pass it back on to HQ”

“And having corresponded with the Melbourne office, I’ve just been informed it’s actually a company-wide first as well”

“We’ve never shied away from diversity here at JB, so I’m really happy to be involved in making history here today”

Almost unique to only Australians, ear spacers are a popular form of body modification that requires a person to stretch their earlobes to accommodate a larger size cylindrical pieces of jewellery.

Spacer earrings are also known as plugs, tunnels, and ear gauges. Outside of Australians who like drinking energy drinks and selling electronics, this style of piercing is most common with Americans who like to listen to that bizarre style of rock music that was made popular by The Offspring.

JB Hi-Fi, as a company, has been synonymous with spacers – ever since the chain was first founded in North-West Melbourne in 1974.

But today that all changed.

With the paperwork completed at the Betoota Heights Franchise, JB Hi Fi’s first ever spacer-free employee – who goes by the name of ‘Mike Dog’ – is now working the floor as a Retail Sales Assistant.

Mike Dog says the thought of adhering to the unofficial JB Hi FI uniform and get some wind in his lobes has definitely crossed his mind, even before taking the job, but for now he’s focusing on the task at hand: selling as many Playstation 5 consoles as the company can provide him with.

“Anyway, can I help you with anything champ?” Mike Dog asks The Betoota Advocate.

“These HiSense TVs are basically the same as Samsung.”

“Remember when everyone used to talk shit about LG TVs… and then they came good?”

“That’s the same with Hisense. The Chinese made stuff is really catching up to the Koreans and Japanese”

Unfortunately, Mike Dog’s lack of spacer ear rings made this reporter question his authenticity, and no sale was made.


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