CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
The Australian Prime Minister that spent over $700 million tax payer dollars on ineligible grants for marginal electorates to build train station car parks and new sports grounds toilet blocks is refusing to make free rapid antigen tests free, as state governments buckle under the strain of testing hundreds of thousands of people each day.
Scotty from Marketing says providing free rapid test kits would undercut retailers, namely ‘JobKeeper Gerry’, who has managed to secure millions of tests to flog off through Harvey Norman at 60 odd bucks a pop.
Mr Morrison says the government won’t pay for free tests to be made more widely available, because he’s not guaranteed that Australians will thank him for this kind of generosity at the ballot.
The PM’s refusal to fund the most basic medical supplies for a nation staring down the barrel at tens of thousands of new cases a day, comes as a surprise to the voters – who have grown used to seeing him recklessly blow money like a first year apprentice in a central Queensland FIFO coal mine.
The Prime Minister has said anyone else who wants a test will have to buy their own, even though that can be difficult, with many chemists and other outlets running out of supplies.
“We’ve invested hundreds of billions of dollars getting Australia through this crisis” said the Prime Minister who also steps in for his fossil fuel donors and blows billions in tax payer dollars funding dying coal fired power plants when the banks refuse to invest.
“We’re now at a stage of the pandemic where you can’t just make everything free, because when someone tells you they want to make something free, someone’s always going to pay for it and it will be you.”
Scotty’s new frugal attitude has shocked many, including his own MPs, some of whom objected to him taking a RAAF jet for the half hour flight from Canberra to Sydney on Father’s Day.
Unfortunately, as the PM pointed out on Today this morning, he’s hesitant to spend anymore money unless he gets thanked for it, with either an election win, or a boost in political donations from Gerry Harvey.
