LOUIS BOURKE | Editor | Contact
With levels of police brutality in the USA high even for American standards, black and minority Americans have taken drastic measures to protect themselves.
Minneapolis local Christopher Davenport (34) has attempted to protect himself from his alleged protectors by sporting a new haircut known as ‘The Karen.’
“I want to speak to the manager of the Minneapolis police!” says Chris.
“That’s the idea behind this new haircut. It should protect me from being brutalised by overzealous law enforcement officers while I voice my concerns about systemic discrimination”
Unfortunately, this new look has immediately had a dramatic affect on the way he treats people that society deem to be lower than him in the class heirachy.
“This is ridiculous!” he shouts, while tapping the counter of his local McDonalds.
“They ordered after me and they’ve already got their food.”
Loathed by all who have worked in customer service, a ‘Karen’ haircut is identified by the asymmetrical side fringe, close-cropped back and the classist white American woman who is usually attached to it.
Pioneers of ‘The Karen’ have often seen viral success by calling police over the volume of their Mexican neighbours’ BBQ sauce or accusing black children of felonies for trying to run a lemonade stand at the shops.
As Christopher points out, sporting his new cut should protect him from being pepper-sprayed or shot by rubber bullets should he do anything ridiculous like be outspoken in the face of injustice, or buy groceries.
“There are risks though. I can feel the privilege this thing is giving me.” he said.
“I want to unvaccinate my children and call the cops because I can see a mailbox that sticks out too far.”
“Someone could bump into it! I could bump into it.”
Although known for wasting police time,‘Karen’ wearers are rarely punished by the judicial system and only apologise for their actions after being filmed and and identified on social media.
“If I go viral for abusing a teenage hospitality worker I can just claim I’m not racist because I have black family members and friends.
“And for the first time in the history of Karens, that claim will actually be true.”
MORE TO COME.
