CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Australia’s next Labor Prime Minister, Kyaliegh Mayweather-Hendrix (4) has already begun drafting her national apology to the entire generation of detained children who have been held behind bars on the pacific Island of Nauru and Manus.
Even though most of the 755 people held in mandatory detention are older than Kyaleigh, she understands that it will be up to 50 years before Australia can reconcile their feelings that surround the idea of having allowed hundreds of stateless youths live out their entire childhood inside a sweltering island prison.
She believes that 2069 will be around the same time that she is pushed forward as the first gluten-free lesbian Labor Prime Minister of Australia.
“Obviously I’m going to upset a few people by acknowledging these people’s existence with an apology,” she says.
“..But I think in a couple decades there will be a push for some sort of recognition of the abuse they suffered, and it’ll take another thirty years from that point for the government to do anything,” she says.
Ms Mayweather-Hendrix says her national apology will be very similar to Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd’s 2007 address to the Stolen Generation, complete with the blatant Labor party opportunism and subsequent lack of action that follows.
“All I need to do is do it,”
“I might even get a national holiday named after me. It won’t be quite a Whitlam-dirt-through-the-hands moment, but it’ll definitely be broadcast live on Parliament House lawns,”
“Obviously, Labor won’t be taking full responsibility for reopening Australia’s offshore detention centre in 2012,”
“Or the fact that we ignored the repeated warnings from doctors and human rights groups about the detrimental impact on the detained children’s mental health,”
“Dutton is probably going to take most of the heat on this, though. He’s on the wrong side of history for this one. Not Kev or Julia, or ScoMo”
Once again, Clancy (of the overblow) Overreach has over-extended the realms of reality by suggesting that we will not have another Labor Prime Minister until 2066.
Pay attention, Clancy. Leading up to the next federal election, a number of events will unfold.
Labor.
The party will have lost faith in union croney, Bill the dill. He represents last-century IR.
Albo (lacking the ruthlessness required of contesting the Labor leadership) will announce his retirement.
Tan Tan will contest the Labor leadership on the condition that Bowen be her deputy.
Liberal.
In a fit of panic, the party will advertise a vacancy for Prime Minister. Julie “death-stare” Bishop will take this as her cue to accept the diplomatic post that has been held for her in the U.S. Clearly, the clouds will have cleared for Tony Abbott’s comeback, and the sun will shine brightly on his chances.
Any one of a number of hopefuls could fill position of deputy.
Nationals.
Seeing male support slipping as a result of Fiona Nash’s feministic yappings, the party will replace her. Barnaby will continue as leader of the party and Deputy Prime Minister.
Now, Clancy, smart money backs Tan Tan to win the federal election.
Given that in September last year, concerning Nauru, she said on ‘7:30’, “There is no question that the way these institutions are being run is unacceptable to Australia and to the international community and I believe the government should answer for any of these allegations, no question.”, I don’t think she is going to offer an apology to the stolen kids of Nauru for the dreadful policies of the Turnbull government.
Can’t really smile at this post. Cringe? Yes because it cuts very close to the bone.