CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
In the most exciting news for home entertainment upgrades since Kevin Rudd’s $900 stimulus cheque, Harvey Norman are giving away 1 x free television to any Australians that provide their 2020 income tax receipts.
This comes after some pesky non-Murdoch journalists began digging around as to why the Government was so eager to wrap up the JobSeeker supplements in the middle of a global pandemic.
Some basic research into the lifestyles of the rich and famous has found that the government is spending hundreds of millions of dollars more than they had budgeted for on welfare payments during the pandemic.
This, of course, isn’t necessarily because of all of the people left unemployed by the virus – but more the people who have been able to keep their jobs, working for billionaires who would prefer to pay them with tax-payer dollars instead of their actual earnings.
In an effort to rebalance the books, the government has decided to strip the social security from those living on the poverty line, because it is far easier then asking Gerry Harvey to just pay his staff with the money he makes from selling millions of dollars worth of household goods throughout a year of record-breaking profits for the retailer.
Harvey Norman is estimated to have received roughly $14.5 million in JobKeeper payments for their 750 franchise employees between March and September.
Gerry Harvey – the last Australian businessman who sees value in advertising in Murdoch’s print rags – has long claimed that business has been good for him during the pandemic.
However, after he was caught out this week paying his staff with the JobKeeper payments that were introduced for businesses who actually could not operate due to social distancing restrictions, Gerry has said that all Australians can come and grab a free TV off him if they are gonna keep whingeing about what he does with their money.
“Nothing over 50 inches” he tells our reporter.
Gerry Harvey sighs as he shows signs of being visibly uncomfortable with giving back to the community.
“Oh, and yeah. No Samsung or Sony… Just HiSense and LG”
“I’m not made of money” says the grumpy billionaire political donor.
MORE TO COME.
