CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Former year 7 class caption of Betoota Flight Path Primary, Noah Kellett (13) has today undergone the great suburban Australian male’s right-of-passage.
That is, putting his fist through a drywall.
The increasingly poorly behaved local lad has reportedly blown a fuse this morning, after his older brother Milo refused to let him play on the iPad before school drop off.
While the drywall punch is usually reserved for the older teenagers, choc full of confusing hormones, Noah has proven that this kind of erratic masculinity is more and more common amongst younger males.
This household incident, which rules out any social activities until summer, follows the announcement that the Australian government has moved to ban the importation of nonprescription vaping products.
In the most significant tobacco and vaping control measures in the country in a decade, Health Minister Mark Butler has vowed to tackle youth vaping – and implement minimum quality standards for imports, flavours, colours and other ingredients.
Vape products will require pharmaceutical-like packaging, and the allowed nicotine concentrations and volumes will be reduced. All single-use, disposable vapes will be banned.
This is not good news for a good 20% of the Australian youth, who, like Noah – are already addicted to nicotine thanks to the previously unregulated blackmarket that has infiltrated schoolyards right around the country.
Now he must endure the long-forgotten short fuse that comes with the cessation of all nicotine products.
In scenes that reminded his parents of when their own parents were quitting the Benson & Hedges Smooths in the 1990s, Noah’s temper is very easily set off – resulting in explosive tantrums and filthy language.
“Ah for FUCKS SAKE” Noah roars at his siblings this morning, exhibiting the exact same-loss-of control as his boomer grandparents once did.
“YOU FUCKEN KIDS!!!”
“KEEP THIS SHIT UP AND YOU’LL GET THE WOODEN SPOON MILO I FUCKEN TELL YA”
