The nation has been rocked today by the revelations in the Afghanistan War Crimes Report.

As a result, the nation is asking for answers on how the appalling culture that facilitated the murder of Afghans and promoted war crimes as a badge of honour was allowed to develop and go on unchecked for so long.

The wide-ranging report recommended that at least 19 soldiers be investigated for the ‘murder’ of 39 Afghans as well as revealed the ‘warrior culture’ in the SAS that involved things like ‘blooding’ – where junior soldiers were ordered by patrol commanders to kill prisoners to ‘get their first kill.’

However, one man who isn’t too concerned by the findings that have been consistently leaking out over the last couple of years is Prime Minister Scott Morrison.

“Haha righto, you wanna talk about War Crimes? How about that bloody late shot from the Maroons Fullback?” said the PM today about the tackle that New South Welshmen claim saw Josh Addo-Carr prevented from scoring a near-certain try.

“What was his name? Peter Allen?” he asked looking back at his Bloke Advisor.

“Corey Allan, that’s it. Anyway, I get the argument about what happens in the fog of war and the heat of the battle and all that, but if you wanna harp on about refering things to the AFP, well he should be the first bloke up” laughed the PM.

“Honestly, that was horrendous, and cost us out there in the greatest battle known to man.”

“I mean I obviously give the War Crimes stuff ten in the bin too, but I don’t wanna talk about that stuff, particularly so soon after the Blueys were robbed last night.”

He then walked off telling us he was getting a ‘dog’s eye’ for lunch.


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