Jacinta Allan has been sworn in as Victoria’s 49th premier after being elected unopposed by the Labor caucus yesterday afternoon.

Allan, the previous deputy premier, was chosen by a vote of her colleagues following the sudden resignation of Daniel Andrews. The Deputy Premier role has since been filled by Public Transport Minister Ben Carroll, which is a name you’ll probably never hear again.

The promotion of Jacinta Allan is frustrating news for the Murdoch Family, who hold a monopoly of close to 80% of the highly unregulated Australian media market – which they use to vilify any politicians that do not belong the the Liberal Party’s right-wing faction, which also means they are vocal opponents of the upcoming Indigenous Voice Referendum.

However, with Dan Andrews being replaced as the Victorian Labor Premier by a woman named Jacinta, there is a lot of room for confusion amongst the low-information voters that depend on Sky News and the Herald Sun for their unhinged political opinions.

After spending the last 6 months telling Australian audiences that the only female politician they should listen to is named Jacinta, the Liberal Party’s media arm at NewsCorp must now also gently explain that there is another Jacinta out there that they definitely should NOT respect.

This is also follows the Murdoch media’s 5 year-long character assassination of New Zealand Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern – another female politician with a similar name, who made the grave political mistake of humanising refugees and having children while in the job.

Jacinda Ardern’s influence over global politics as a child-bearing centre-left political force saw her earn the wrath of Murdoch’s media channels both here and in New Zealand, in an effort to unsuccessfully stop her brand of moderate politics from spreading to our own backyard.

This makes her one of the bad ones. She is now joined by Victorian Premier Jacinta Allan, who, by replacing Dan Andrews – is also automatically one of the bad ones as well.

In fact, the only good Jacinta is Jacinta Price – the previously unknown Indigenous senator from the Northern Territory who has made a name for herself by undermining the upcoming Australian referendum by regurgitating the far-right talking points of Sky News.

Sitting at home late last night in his rendered brick McMansion in our town’s upper-middle-class Pentecostal enclave of Betoota Heights, one Sky News viewer is utterly confused.

“What so we’re supposed to support the black one?” says semi-retired sheet metal retailer, Harold Gorton (65).

“Surely not? How are we supposed to know she wasn’t involved in the communist Black Lives Matter plot?”

“I’ve seen how they talk about Aboriginal activists on Sky After Dark, there’s no way you’re telling me that Jacinta Price is an intellectual political figure?”

Speaking to The Betoota Advocate, Harold says he’s still rather skeptical of this Price woman, but his prejudices are being tested by the inconsistencies of the Murdoch’s late stage culture wars.

“It feels like the whole world has flipped upside down” he says.

“I mean… If Andrew Bolt and Peta Credlin vouch for her… Then I guess some black lives do matter”


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