14 September, 2016. 12:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

IN AN WISTFUL CALL TO arms, Malcolm Turnbull has asked his political friends and foes to put aside their differences for the greater good of the nation by asking them to clear a path for the same-sex marriage plebiscite today in Canberra.

The prime minister’s pleas come as Opposition leader Bill Shorten has allegedly instructed his MPs to vote against the motion, citing that it’s an ‘irresponsible and unnecessary waste of taxpayer money’.

Speaking to parliament this afternoon, Turnbull made an emotional speech that challenged his colleagues not to let this spiral out of control into another Ute-gate type disaster.

“I have a dream that one day every gay will be legally allowed to live in sin – in a homosexual marriage,” he said.

“The Coalition is united in their quest to make this happen. While I have to technically agree that Jesus and his Dad, or the bloke who wrote the Bible would be too crash hot on this idea, but it’s the best I can do with the hand the Australian public dealt me at the last election,”

“But yeah, I represent one of the largest gay ghettos in Australia and you can take it from me, they’re a bit of all right. Most of you in this parliament wouldn’t have many homosexuals in your electorate, but I’ve got fucking thousands. So does Tan[ya Plibersek] she’s got bloody truckloads of them. That four-eyed smug poon from Melbourne in the red room has a couple, too,”

“We can vouch for them. Just let us pass this plebiscite so we can get on with business.”

The future of Malcolm Turnbull’s plebiscite hangs in the balance this afternoon as the parliament plans to vote on this issue shortly.

More to come.


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