15 February, 2016. 16:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The prime minister has received advice on how to deal with the President of the United States from a polite Canadian man who’s just spent the weekend in Washington with him.

Speaking via telephone this morning to Malcolm Turnbull, Canadian PM Justin Trudeau explained how he was able to interact with President Donald Trump without being made to look like a little bitch.

“Basically, Justin gave him the run-down on Trump and how to deal with his mickey mouse horseshit should the pair actually meet face-to-face one day,” said one aide.

“Malcolm was concerned about the handshake, which is odd because he did work at Goldman Sachs. If you’ve ever shaken a bloke’s hand who works for Goldman, you bloody know about it. They’re more solid than an AU Falcon.”

The Canadian Capricorn then went on to illustrate that it’s OK to feel nervous when meeting a powerful man like Trump, but it’s not OK for him to put it over you.

Using the examples from earlier this month, Trudeau spelt out to Malcolm that letting ‘you-know-who’ repeatedly get his name wrong on purpose and telling the world that he’s going to ‘neg on a deal’ he made with Obama is some serious bitch behaviour that needs to be rectified.

“Don’t let him push you around like that, that’s what he wants, bro,” said Trudeau.

“Next time you talk to him, don’t take any gruff. You tell him that he’s going to take those asylum seekers and he’s going to thank you for them. Tell him to stop bullying you  – and if he doesn’t stop, you’ll tell the UN on him.”

More to come.


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