ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact


The Prime Minister has refused to comment on his American counterpart declining a traditional shoey during a meeting, saying only he respected his wishes not to have one.

“I will not be talking about that incident,” he said. “Next question.”

But that incident has begun to overshadow his visit to Washington.

Malcolm Turnbull reportedly removed his boot during high-level talks with Donald Trump over the weekend and filled it with a crisp lager – then offered it up to the president.

“Get this into, you big red bastard,” beckoned Turnbull as per the cultural custom dictates.

“Hey woah, get that thing away from me! What the hell are you doing?” replied Trump.

Turnbull, perplexed by the rejection of the said shoey, stuttered through an explanation.

“It’s just what we do, mate,” said Turnbull as the beer quickly leaked through the seams.

“Nobody knows why. We just started drinking out of shoes one day.”

“What the fuck is the matter with you, put your goddamn shoe back on. Jesus H Christ, have some self-respect for yourself.”

The Prime Minister then finished the shoey himself.

“That’s got to be one of the dumbest things I’ve ever seen in my whole fucking life!” said Trump.

“Can we get back to business now?”

Malcolm nodded and apologised before clearing his through to give his opinion on nuclear weapons.

More to come.



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