As excitement brews in the office of Home Affairs about a possible leadership spill, Peter Dutton MP has today thrown on what he calls ‘civilian clothes’ in an attempt to prove to the Australian public that he is in fact a normal human.

It is believed Dutton went searching through the basement of his Canberra rental this morning to find a pair of quadruple-pocketed three-quarter cargo shorts – an outfit staple from back in the day when he was arresting homeless people for marijuana possession on Brisbane’s Ferny Grove line.

As a former undercover drug detective from Brisbane, Peter Dutton’s entire understanding on ‘casual wear’ is related directly to clothes that cops try to wear to look like they aren’t cops.

Commonly seen undercover cop attire includes three-quarter cargo shorts, three-quarter denim shorts, Quicksilver button ups and New Balance sneakers.

As the embattled Prime Minister faces yet another unflattering newspoll survey, his only far-right-wing ally in the Coalition looks to be making a move on the youth vote, by rocking up to Parliament in his funky casual threads.

It is believed while getting dressed for work this morning, Dutton was unable to find a t-shirt that didn’t have a ‘marriage alliance’ logo sprawled across the front of it, and had to settle for a work shirt with rolled up sleeves.

“Haha. Gotta catch the last of the warmer weather” said the Minister, while bending over to fold up the hem on his groovy shorts.

“Because, like any normal humans, I enjoy summer”

“I also like footy ball and white people”

“Aussie Aussie”

“Oi Oi!”


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