28 September, 2016. 17:25


Following Sam Dastyari’s resignation from a shadow frontbench position earlier this month, it is believed that the Labor Senator has been ‘laying low’ at his cousin’s place in Lakemba until things cool off.

The resignation saw the end to week-long saga over a Chinese company having covered his travel expenses, a  payment which led many to question his support for China in the South China Sea dispute in defiance of Labor policy.

Speaking to the Betoota Advocate today, ‘Dasher’ as he is collaquially known in the hood, told us that he’s not the first member of his family to get sent to Uncle Reza’s house for straightening out.

“When my other cousin, Nick, wrote off his old man’s car – he had to do about four month’s at Reza’s,” he said.

“When his little brother got caught with pingers. Jesus. He spent a fair bit of time in Lakemba,”

The Iranian-born Federal Politician has for many years spoken about his loving arabic background, and it would seem that in the peak of his political controversy, it is only his family that are looking after him.

“Nah, haven’t heard much from Bill [Shorten], hey”

“I’ve been out of the loop. Chilling out at my cousin’s place. Keeping out of trouble,”

“Just until this all cools down… Which will probably be on the third libspill. I’m backing that to happen before Christmas,”

Our interview with Senator Dastyari was cut short by his aunt, who was rousing on him for not cleaning out the gutters on the family shop like he had been told to.


  1. Geez, don’t you’ze know that Iranians ain’t Arabs? Nothing Arabic about them (except Mohammad, Ail, the Koran, and war trophies pilched off dead Iraqi soldiers in the 1980s).

  2. I gotta tell you lads, Iranians ain’t Arabian; they hate being called Arabs. Bit like calling an Irish person English.
    Uncle Reza and a few of the boys just might take the Nissan up to Betoota and sort you blokes out about a few things.


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