ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

After a disastrous week so far in federal politics, a leading research body has revealed that the overwhelming majority of Australians are looking forward to the day when Parliament is made up of robots.

Roy Morgan Research released their findings this afternoon after a phone survey was conducted by the group this afternoon as the nation grows more and more impatient with their elected officials.

“It seems most people in Australia would like to see these politicians replaced by automation, whereby they can automatically come up with a policy that accurately reflects the opinion of the majority,” said one researcher on the project.

“Plus, we don’t need to fly them anywhere. Drive them anywhere. Fuck, we wouldn’t even need to pay them anything,”

“We could email them over for state visits and if they get a virus, like One Nation, we can just run Norton to get rid of them. Not have to wait until the next election. The general feeling is that when politicians have their jobs automated, shit will be cash.”

However, a number of top-ranking political figures have quickly dismissed the idea, saying that humans will always be better at governing humans and that the notion job automation is just out to scare the working class.

“You might be able to replace a robot like Christopher Pyne with an actual robot,” said the Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce.

“But you can’t replace someone like me with a robot. Robots don’t know anything about cattle or sheep. Maybe we could start phasing some out with robots? I would be open to that idea.”

More to come.


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