Popular board game Monopoly will be updated with new, modern Community Chest Cards says manufacturer Hasbro in a recent statement.

The game, released in 1935, offers a unique opportunity to show your family how Capitalism can be lucrative and fun or extremely violent, depending on who wins.

The Community Chest Cards have been largely unchanged since the game was released, and some cards feature phrases which would be unfamiliar to modern players such as “Bank error in your favour, collect $200” instead of a more contemporary “Bank Error in Your Favour, Collect $200, Give It Back And Pay A $50 Fee”.Meanwhile, the “Go To Jail – Go Directly To Jail – Do Not Pass Go – Do Not Collect $200” card will remain, but any player who is an Australian politician will automatically be issued with a Get Out Of Jail Free Card.

This card, which may be used once per turn indefinitely, may only to be used by serving Australian politicians, with other players immediately sent to Jail as per the existing rules.

However, some players of the new game say the changes make the game unfair.

“This is stupid, nobody’s been able to win a single game since Dad got elected” says Geraldine Tyler, 14.

“Out of Mum, Dad, Sarah, Harry and I, he’s the only one who never went to gaol. Plus he kept slipping hush money to Mum and building houses everywhere even though he wasn’t allowed to. Then when he was about to land on my Park Lane property he just said he needed Mental Health Leave and sat out while he waited for everyone else to just run out of money. It was so unfair.”

Unsurprisingly, Geraldine’s father, the current Member for Bangarang and current reigning Tyler Family Monopoly Champion, thinks the new rules are a big improvement.

“It adds an extra element to the gameplay, that’s for sure. They were all whinging about it being unfairly politically biased but that’s bullshit. It’s nothing like politics; there were 3 women and only 2 men. Crazy!”

Amongst other changes, every player will be forced to pay $1500 every time they pass Go to TransUrban; the game quickly ending when nobody has any money left.


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