LOUIS BURKE | Society | Contact
It has been reported that former senator and climate change expert, Malcolm Roberts, was seen at a Sunshine Coast New Year’s Eve party moving from table to table, finishing the remaining dregs of other people’s drinks.
The New Year’s bash at a private residence was attended by many One Nation staff and representatives, including party Senate Whip Brian Burston, who says Robert’s drink of choice was not the only strange behaviour exhibited by the Indian born former senator.
“He finished off the last of my XXXX which was strange, but it was the way he looked at me afterward and made this sort of low grunting sound that seemed to come from deep within his chest that I didn’t like. I can honestly say I was scared.”
Party host and Queensland One Nation Leader, Steve Dickson, says his Buderim home is used to hosting a lively crowd but believes the limits were tested by Robert’s particular style of partying.
“When he wasn’t finishing off the last of peoples beer or champers he was acting rather odd. He walked around handing people individual Corn Flakes that had words like ‘anal’ and ‘discharge’ written on them and kept asking the DJ to stop the music to put a Joe Rogan podcast on.”
“Then, later on, he just bolted out from behind a corner yelling ‘RUN!’ We all thought the cops were coming so Rosa Lee Long quickly slammed all the coke she had in one go. Wasn’t even anyone there.”
Reports state that after helping himself to more unfinished drinks, Robert’s tried to force the entire party to play a game of Risk with him, grapple tackled a staffer he believed responsible for leaking his citizenship documents and insisted on yelling “Happy Batman” instead of “Happy New Year.”
Partygoers were unable to find Roberts between 1:02 and 2:15 am, until he was later found in the kitchen pantry playing Russian Roulette with David Oldfield and Robin Scott.
Later, it is reported Robert’s was asked to leave after trying to persuade Peter Georgiou to do a shot of bong water and calling him a ‘mussy-loving pussy’ when he refused.
“There weren’t even any bongs at the party so where he got the water from is beyond me.”
It is reported that after being asked to leave he was later found on the roof of a neighbouring home, yelling spoilers for Star Wars: The Last Jedi at exiting partygoers, citing he was allowed to do so ‘because of free speech.’
Roberts himself is yet to comment on his behaviour but his employer Pauline Hanson has some theories.
“I think being unemployed has really fucked with him. He keeps editing his Wikipedia page and is still really upset he’s never been invited to speak on Q&A again.”
“I think it’s a combination of those things and the likelihood that whatever David Ettridge was drinking gave him a bit more than he bargained for.”
