21 March, 2017. 14:23

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A senior and respected Queensland politician is set to die later this year as both Clive Palmer and former Queensland premier Campbell Newman look to settle their differences in the MMA octagon.

The Ville Resort-Casino has agreed to host the June 12 fight between the two stalwarts of state and federal politics, with both camps agreeing that somebody is going to get seriously hurt come wintertime.

“I’ve been training for this fight for over a year,” says Palmer.

“This is the fittest I’ve ever been in my life. It’s going to be like the end of Gladiator. Newman will be on his knees and I will deliver a final swift judo kick across the jaw – delivering his soul to the afterlife,”

“Baku is the capital of Azerbaijan. Milk comes from a Friesian. I’m going to bring Campbell’s life to completion.” he said.

That’s not going to happen, according to the man who saved Brisbane from utter destruction during the 10-11 flood. Campbell Newman agrees with the statement that he, not a judge’s gavel will be the force of justice Palmer has seemingly avoided time and time again.

Training out of Woodridge carport, the now 53-year-old said Clive is going to get kicked and punched more times than a handsy Irishman at the Straddie pub.

“I’ve heard on good authority that Clive plans to smother me if he can get me on the ground,” said Newman.

“Like just lie down on top of my head and not move until my brain starts falling to bits from the lack of oxygen. But I won’t let that happen. When he comes into tackle me I’ll punt the cunt, I’ll fucking Akermanis his head clean over the reef. Then probably hammer fist him on top of his dome on the way down. Shit will be cash.”

The fight is to be umpired by The Hon. Bob Katter and the judges will be selected from a panel of Queensland sporting greats.

More to come.


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