CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce is reportedly ‘spewing’ today after being informed that there is no tartare sauce left in Mooloolba, by the nervous teenagers holding holiday management roles.

“Fuck me” he said.

“Can’t a man unwind”

Mr Joyce was quite controlled while telling the 16-year-old deli supervisor that he’s got about eight kilos of fresh Sunshine coast prawns that he needs to get through between now and New Years.

Earlier this month it was reported that the 50-year-old Tamworth man had been unable to pay attention during  Parliament question time because he was so caught up day dreaming about prawns over Christmas – but those excited holiday plans appear to be soiled, as his number one accompaniment for crustaceans is believed to be unavailable in Mooloolaba.

“Do you at least have some bloody one thousands islands”

“What am I supposed to dip these things in. They are monsters… I need a dip”

With the terrified staff members at Coles checkout currently on the phones to nearby Coles and the packing room, the Deputy Prime Minister says he’s in half a mind to buy some tomato sauce and mix it with some mayo.

“Don’t make me do the T Sauce prawns again like we used to do in Dirranbandi.” he says.

“C’mon are you sure there isn’t any out the back”


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