The remaining Australians who consider themselves loyal to the slightly left of the two Australian major parties are rejoicing today, after reports that Anthony Albanese MP was spotted in a refrigerated Marrickville warehouse with former Prime Minister Bob Hawke.

This follows speculation that the leader of the opposition, Bill Shorten may be unfit to lead the ALP into the uncharted waters of populist politics currently taking over all rational debate a post-Trump world.

That, as well as Sunday night’s newspoll results that reveal the Prime Minister now leads Labor’s Bill Shorten as preferred leader 45 to 31.

With Pauline Hanson’s One Nation still hoping to sweep in on the disillusioned regional seats as the citizenship saga continues, the ALP are reportedly looking for someone new.

The answer: Anthony Albanese MP – the Italian stallion, born and raised in the Camperdown housos. It seems his aggressive style of politics has invoked a nostalgic sense of Labor glory in the former Labor Prime Minister Bob Hawke.

With both men spotted wearing tracksuits and murmuring to each other in working class accents inside a low key butcher’s cool room yesterday, it seems Hawke may have taken the woes of his dear Labor Party into his own hands.

“Hawkey wasn’t giving him an inch” says one witness.

“I heard him yell ‘if this is what you want, then we have to do it my way’ and kept barking in his ear”

“He was smoking a cuban cigar. It looked like something out of Underbelly”

It is believed that Albo was sweating profusely while former Prime Minister Bob Hawke shouted out different boxing combinations.

“It’s not going to be this easy when you get into the ring with them. Get on your toes young fella!”

Bill Shorten was approached for comment about the possibility of himself being ousted but he refused to talk about anything other than his criticisms of what Malcolm Turnbull has been doing, and how he would do things similarly but different.




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