Local News

22 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local dual citizen threw his British passport in the rubbish this morning after all hope that 'Brexit' wasn't actually going to go ahead was extinguished as UK Prime Minister Theresa May plans to officially notify the European Union next Wednesday that the kingdom is leaving. Cameron Rollandson spoke to The Advocate a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT 65 year old Italian immigrant Chris Marchese was left seething at the local real estate agent yesterday afternoon, after the salesman “refused to come to the party.” The Betoota Real estate agent Ben Hunt, 30, looked flabbergasted when the prospective home buyer asked for 10 percent off the price of a home if he paid in cash. “Ahhhh mate, that’s...

20 March, 2017. 14:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Moving to the harsh Queensland interior just last year, a local retiree has revealed that his 'sand-change' was going swimmingly up until yesterday when he arrived at a mate's Sunday BBQ with a longneck of red wine. Red wine and other communist beverages were banned from the wider Betoota district after the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the last of the Wednesday night pinot gris dripped from her pores, an East Betoota glazier finally felt right again to stomach something last night - a slice of her housemate's leftover supreme pizza. As there were five four slices left or half your standard pizza, Natalie Pearson thought she'd be able to get away with stealing a slice. So...

16 March, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local alpaca farmer has confided in The Advocate this morning, explaining that his long road to ruin began after he was snapped in the men's restroom of The Betoota Hotel using the urinal with his Wranglers wrapped around his ankles. Caught with his pants down in the midst of a midsummer...

15 March, 2017. 16:23 INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact Speaking candidly to The Advocate this afternoon, a resident student at Betoota Base Hospital has spoken about how she's often told that she'd be fun at parties by men - for simply voicing an informed, but opposing opinion. Rather than retreat into her shell, UQ graduate student Emma O'Donoghue says she was told...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After thirty years of renovating, local papou, Conrad Gerbouris (72) is finally content with his front porch. The post-war migrant made a vow to his wife in 1986 that there would not be a blade of grass within the boundaries of their entire workers cottage by the time grandkids came along. Today he can proudly say that the job...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The South Betoota Pharmacy is blatantly selling lollies and chocolates, it has been confirmed. Aside from the vaguely justifiable glucose jelly beans aimed at helping diabetics stabilize, local pharmacist Sparky Kennedy has also placed 'low sugar' licorice, caramels and chocolates and gummie treats at the check-out. "It's all either sugar-free or low-sugar" he says. "Sometimes a big smile is the best...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Taking advantage of a rare Sunday afternoon off work, a local creep grabbed a paperback Michael Crichton and headed on down to the Betoota Hotel for some one-on-one time with himself. Colin Denuto told The Advocate this afternoon that it's one of his favourite things to do - to go to the pub by himself...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With a new batch of potentially cool kids coming through the ranks in his year nine cohort, run-of-the-mill high school student, Haydon Comino (15) has relaunched himself back into the fray, with a vague story about losing his virginity to a girl who goes to another school in another town. The fact that the girl...