After thirty years of renovating, local papou, Conrad Gerbouris (72) is finally content with his front porch.

The post-war migrant made a vow to his wife in 1986 that there would not be a blade of grass within the boundaries of their entire workers cottage by the time grandkids came along. Today he can proudly say that the job is done.

“These pillars, moit” he says.

“I picked them up from a bloke down the road with a garden shop. It’s not real concrete but it lasts longer anyway”

After installing 18 x 50 cm miniature Athenian-style fiberglass pillars along the front of his porch, Conrad says his place is looking arguably better than the real thing.

The ‘real thing’ he is talking about is ancient Greece.

The weathered grandfather of twenty-seven smiles as he blasts a high-powered garden hose onto his ‘front lawn’ – when asked why he dedicates so much time and water to this task, Mr Gerbouris simply responds “It’s the weekend, moit”.

Often referred to as ‘the Greek broom’ – the Southern-European practice of hosing down driveways has been a hot topic for local politicians for many years now, Conrad says you need to keep the place wet if you want it too look decent.

He says these pillars are bloody beautiful.

“Mate, it’s just like back home but better. This things don’t require the same upkeep”

“Back in the day I would have gone for all-concrete, but my backs getting weary and these bluddy kids of mine are too busy to help”

“They keep telling me to sell this shit and move to the suburbs. They reckon I could pull in over two million for a place like this”

“I can tell you it’ll be worth a lot fucking more now with these pillars’



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