Local News

1 May, 2017. 10:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A prominent South Betoota teenager has lashed out at the suggestion that using RhymeZone cheapens his craft and challenged anyone who thought differently to come down to the Wentworth Road skate park and say it to his face. RhymeZone is a popular internet website that finds rhymes for a word you give...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local weirdo has spent the last couple of days subconsciously navigating around the Homebrand spearmint lollies on the kitchen bench. The reason? Because he likes them the most and wants to save the best until last. 30-year-old IKEA floor manager, Bevan Cochrane says the missus doesn't often let him tear open a 400 gram of...

ROY MARTIN | WA | CONTACT In a move that’s been labelled as “bold” and “daring” by members of Betoota’s social circuit, local woman Bella Vacante has looked shyly towards the ground in a social photo that has the scene buzzing. “After the backlash pouting like a duck received following its explosion in 2015, us girls have been looking for something that almost gives...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A South Betoota meat worker has taken time out of his busy afternoon of talking shit on Facebook and spitting in public to speak about his evening plans and what other types of mischief he's going to get up to tonight. Deverell Slacks, 19, told The Advocate that he's saved up all week to fill...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A top-rating Betoota FM radio station has been forced to apologise after failing to warn listeners that there'd be a 20-min gap between Ed Sheeran songs, which led to an unprecedented 600 complaints made to the broadcast ombudsman. Catfish 98.1FM took time out of the popular afternoon drive program, Harvs & Henn, to say sorry to their...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A recent graduate of the Betoota Heights Steiner School has exceeded her own expectations by mastering basic arithmetic in the face of overwhelming odds. Dennise Carp, 19, finished her Queensland Certificate of Education (QCE) last year with an OP 22, which even she finds hard to believe. Going on to endure the shame of counting with her...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke is very well aware that he has a melon much bigger than most of his mates. Since young adulthood, Sam Perrington hasn't been able to engage in friendly banter with anyone without the size of his noggin' being brought up. Because of this, the 32-year-old boilermaker from West Betoota, has not been able to engage in...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia's peak scientific body revealed the findings of a new study this afternoon that set out to discover what the height of luxury is - causing some controversy in the process. The CSIRO came to the conclusion that the must enjoyable, luxurious activity a human being can do is to enjoy a 'premium' cigarette such...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An old codger has made it clear that he is surprised by the amount of good looking young women drinking at The Lord Kidman in Betoota. While drinking his regular pint glass of weird old people beer, retired newsagency owner, Lyle Patterson (77) is getting away with saying things that anyone 40 years younger than him would be crucified...

24 April, 2017. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 19-year-old politics student at South Betoota Technical College is the talk of the town this afternoon after becoming an expert in the ins and outs of the French political system overnight. Close to a dozen of his classmates swooned over Gregor Liston, who now sports a gleaming hickey, as he regaled them with humorous...