A local weirdo has spent the last couple of days subconsciously navigating around the Homebrand spearmint lollies on the kitchen bench.

The reason? Because he likes them the most and wants to save the best until last.

30-year-old IKEA floor manager, Bevan Cochrane says the missus doesn’t often let him tear open a 400 gram of Allens lolly rip-off, but when she does he meticulously starts from the pineapples, then the red frogs, onto the strawberry drops.

“I save the best ’til last ha ha ha” he says, through green-tinted teeth.

Bevan’s wife of 5 years, Fliss, says her husband is starting to develop some really weird “dad-tastes”.

“When we were driving out the Warwick the other day for a family wedding… He pulled into the servo and bought everyone a bottle of sarsaparilla…”

“What the hell is that? It’s not the 1940’s anymore… Surely some run of the mill lemonade would have kept the kids happy”

“Double sars is not at all a treat. It’s not even a quirky flavour like licorice or Dr Pepper. It’s flat out disgusting”

While Bevan hasn’t spent much time in the pub lately, Fliss believes he’s not far off becoming one of those old creeps who only drinks Tooheys Old.

“He says he’s currently organising a surprise holiday for my 30th… I’m absolutely terrified”

“It’s either a road trip to the Yepoon caravan park that I saw him googling the other day, or it’s a week fishing in Lismore…”

“Can’t we just book a unit at the Goldie and watch TV all week?”



Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here