Politics

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Scott Morrison has finally given an indication that he might just do something more about the four allegations made against a former Liberal Party staffer. After being tricked to front the press by opening a door offering great deals on a Hawaiian timeshare, Mr Morrison initially made several ill-conceived jokes where he said ‘what allegations?’ in the style of...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Islamic leaders across Australia have today urged Peter Dutton and Scott Morrison to do more about the criminal behaviour within their community. The comments come after the sexual assault of a young woman in Parliament House, and allegations of more horrific behaviour within the circles of federal politics. "We need to be realistic about the threat," said the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Mark McGowan has prepared himself for yet another day of public service by practicing public speaking in the restrooms adjacent to his office. This morning, the Premier of our nation's prosperous West tried saying, "This election will be tough," over and over again in the mirror while trying to keep a straight face. "It took me...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT The nation's Head of Marketing has today hit out at Australia's culture of victim-blaming. Stay across our biggest stories in a short sharp audio format. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Speaking exclusively to The Betoota Advocate this morning, Scott Morrison explained that he's just about had enough of copping it for his Government's appalling handling of the sexual...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT In case your old mate from uni who wears a Ramones shirt that matches his dog's handkerchief hasn’t told you, Facebook has blocked access to news sites for Australian based users in order to avoid legislation that would see them spend money on something. Now as the one third of Australians who receive most of their news updates through...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Prime Minister Scott Morrison says he is taking a stand to ensure that people are safe from spree shootings in shopping centres, after a chat with his wife regarding this issue last night. It is believed that Morrison was reportedly standing outside a shopping centre in his home electorate last night, with a loaded AR15, and was preparing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Mining identities Clive Palmer and Gina Rinehart have been selected at random today to be among the first in the country to be immunised against the Pangolin's Wrath. The Federal Government greenlit the spicy cough jab today, paving the way for every person on this god-forsaken island to be saved from almost certain death. Nevertheless, news...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT In some worrying news for Australia's already incinerating democracy - it seems that one of Australia's loudest medical skeptics and conspiracists will be waging a populist election campaign has he makes a move for the Australian upper house. Deranged former celebrity chef Pete Evans has this week announced he will join politics and run for the Senate...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A government member has today done his best to avoid answering questions about his behaviour as an elected official whose salary is paid by taxpayers. Federal Health Minister Greg Hunt did so this morning by brushing off any questions about rolling out a government announcement with a Liberal Party logo slapped on it. With an election potentially just...

CLANCY OVERELL  | Editor | CONTACT Just after the Prime Minister had finally managed to discipline his electoral neighbour, Craig Kelly, for hysterically spreading medical misinformation at odds with the Government's imminent vaccine roll-out - it seems another unhinged backbencher has popped up to support the conspiracist MP. George Christensen, the Member For Dawson, and a similarly underqualified and out-of-shape angry white man, has...