Breaking News

30 April, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact WHEN HE COMES TO SYDNEY, he really loves to tie one on. He's not worried about property prices or where his next meal is coming from. Stephen "Plumber" Kaneladdy can wake up each morning after a bender and lie content in his own filth knowing that everything will be OK for him. A king...

29 April, 2016. 16:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A 23-YEAR-OLD-PISS-CUTTING-LEGEND has confirmed his intentioned to get Grant Hackett wheelchair blind this weekend, coming just days after swearing the drink off forever after ANZAC Day. Brenton Ellis Carter from the central Queensland district of Adavale says he's hired a wheelchair for the weekend and he intends to put it to good use. Arriving...

MERV HARRIS | Culture | CONTACT In breaking news, local mother of three Kimberly Seeto is set to be offered the undesirable job of tuckshop convenor at the next meeting of the Betoota State Primary School P&F. P&F secretary Jamie Croon - the father of dimwitted year two student Jason - revealed to The Betoota Advocate that Mrs Seeto is set to be offered...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IT ONLY SEEMED LIKE yesterday when 56-year-old retired banker Richard Cullens was sitting in the back of his father's XC Falcon smoking reefer with his high school sweetheart - listening to Prince, Leonard Cohen, David Bowie and George Michael. But today, those nostalgic memories of a time gone by, before he had a wife, kids,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN A BID TO CLAW back some of the ransom money paid for the freedom of Tara Brown and the 60 Minutes crew, Nine Entertainment Co confirmed today that a book has been released detailing the experience. The gonzo journalistic account of the television presenter's time in Beirut was ghostwritten by Matthew Reilly - an...

21 April, 2015. 10:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact CHILDREN OF THE MODERN world are left shaking after watching episodes of Mr Bean, a popular BBC comedy programme which saw worldwide acclaim in the 1990s. The report was commissioned by the Australian Television Standards Committee after the received thousands of complaints about the show after in broadcast on the ABC last...

20 April, 2016. 14:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE HAVING MILLIONS OF brain cells left to lose, Irish fighter Conor McGregor has chosen to retire from all forms of professional MMA. Rumours have swelled for the proceeding 12-hours before the announcement, with confirmation coming from UFC President Dana White. The 27-year-old says he was confronted in a dream by his remaining...

19 April, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact BEACH HOUSES AND HOBBY FARMS will be cheaper to attain and maintain under a Coalition government, a series of budget leaks has revealed. The breakthrough comes after huge concessions were made to high-income earners and big business, forcing nearly all Australians out of the highly competitive holiday home market. It's good news for...

19 April, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A REPORT COMMISSIONED BY an Australian brewery has found that only girls like the taste of beer that comes packaged in clear bottles. It also recommends that Australian men who enjoy malted beverages such as Corona, Toohey's Extra Dry or XXXX Summer to walk to the nearest bathroom and look themselves in...

14 April, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NOW THAT MALCOLM TURNBULL HAS left the country, Barnaby Joyce and his friends from The Nationals have the keys to the kingdom - and they've thrown the biggest party at The Lodge since John Howard's infamous 17-day bender after Australia won the 1999 Cricket World Cup. Early this morning, a Tooheys Brewery...