20 April, 2016. 14:34

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

DESPITE HAVING MILLIONS OF brain cells left to lose, Irish fighter Conor McGregor has chosen to retire from all forms of professional MMA.

Rumours have swelled for the proceeding 12-hours before the announcement, with confirmation coming from UFC President Dana White.

The 27-year-old says he was confronted in a dream by his remaining brain cells, where they put up a compelling argument as to why she should take part in UFC 200.

“They other night I had the strangest dream. I was in a room and my brain cells came in and sat down next to me,” said the Irishman.

“One of them said, ‘Conor, you fool. They’re aren’t many of us left. Look at Muhammed Ali, he’s the champ and always will be but he dribbles down his front now and some cunt has to feed him with a spoon. Ye don’t want that do ya?’ That really made me take a step back,”

“I don’t want to end up a jittery culchie wanker who was once a great fighter, I want to be able to leave now before I get a real brain injury.”

Medical experts around the world have lauded his decision, saying that it’s the smartest thing he’s done. But they’ve got their reservations about the existing damage to his brain.

British neurologist Dr Duncan Brightman said the fact that McGregor has come out and said he had a sit-down conversation with his own brain cells is “quite alarming” to say the least.

“I don’t think he’s retiring with everything inside his head working in pristine order,” said the doctor.

“Every fighter in one form or another has brain damage, just like every smoker has emphysema in one shape or another,”

“And him saying he had a deep conversation with his own brain cells has got me worried that he might be exhibiting the signs of brain damage.”

More to come.



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