Local Man Too Occupied with Underperforming Footy Sides To Give A Fuck About Election
30 June, 2016. 13:35
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact
Local man, Will Chapman (26) doesn't know how his mates can be so 'into this political shit' at the moment, especially considering the current Manly Sea Eagles match-fixing saga.
As a staunch fan of both Manly, the NSW Blues and the Wallabies, this health and fitness professional from Avoca Beach has nothing to smile about,...
Nick Kyrgios fined for acting like a Canberra boy at Wimbledon
30 June, 2016. 12:32
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
YOU'RE NOT FROM CANBERRA UNLESS you've headbutted an ADFA warrior during a big Mooseheads session or received some sort of ban from Workies.
Or you've told some wok-eyed ATP tennis umpire to go and get fucked.
The 21-year-old was been fined $3,380 for unsportsmanlike conduct in his opening Wimbledon match for calling out Swedish umpire Mohamed...
Euthanasia becomes legal for people who drank prosecco the night before
29 June, 2016. 9:04
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IF YOU'RE WAKING UP FROM a long hard night on the prosecco, there's some light at the end of the tunnel.
Childbirth and femoral fractures are considered less painful than a hangover induced by the fancy-sounding fizzy pop - with some comparing it to having your head split in half with a...
Suspected Scottish asylum seeker boat intercepted off Christmas Island
29 June, 2016. 11:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
PRIME MINISTER MALCOLM TURNBULL has confirmed that a party boat that went missing of Koh Samui in Thailand last month was intercepted off the coast of Christmas Island.
A border protection source has told The Advocate a vessel was intercepted by the Navy in the early hours of Monday morning.
In May, a Thai party...
“Stop The Boats” Says Man With Four Empty Investment Properties
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Local baby boomer, Berrick Daley (64) says that he votes for whichever major party is toughest on asylum seekers.
"We can talk about gay marriage and climate change all we want... But everyone is forgetting the bigger picture. We don't have the infrastructure to house all the boat people that keep coming here for a free ride," says Mr Daley, who...
Six years on, stockbrokers gather to remember and laugh about Occupy Sydney protests
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
JUST A WEEK OR TWO AFTER he was made a senior portfolio manager at his boutique Martin Place private asset management firm, Michael McAlister said he treated himself to a new suit.
Not just any bit of common rag, this one was different.
Sourced from the finest merino wool and stitched together by the most-skilled of...
Tony Abbott compares rival James Mathison to a pug in vitriolic campaign memes
28 June, 2016. 16:45
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
IN THE LEAD UP TO THIS election, former prime minister Tony Abbott hired somebody under 35 who suggested he reconnect with young voters in his electorate through the meme medium.
The first target in his crosshairs is challenger James Mathison, who he sees as a threat to his reelection because young people...
Climate Change No Longer An Issue As Baby Boomers Realise Winter Still Gets A Bit Cold
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
GILBERT KLOGHEART DOESN'T KNOW how the world could be heating up if the eastern seaboard has just experienced their coldest weather episode in 20 years.
Despite loud and ghastly shouting matches with his adult children, the 59-year-old remains unswayed on the issue of climate change. Even as the scientific facts and evidence began to mount...
Strict Aussie Gun Laws Results In Nerdy White Guys Getting Neck Tatts To Look Hard
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
THE WORLD IS A DANGEROUS PLACE which is why God gave us guns to defend ourselves.
However, in this socialist paradise formally known as Australia, ordinary kind-hearted citizens aren't allowed to arm themselves for their own protection.
So rather than risk a lengthy gaol term and a criminal conviction, law-abiding Australians are being forced to get...
Tourists Kill Dog After Dragging It Into the Ocean For A Selfie
27 June, 2016 14:30
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
An innocent puppy has died today in yet another example of photogenic animals being dragged by humans in environments that don't suit them for a selfie.
Rover (5 months) was stolen from his owner's front yard in Terrigal beach on saturday and dragged into the ocean by a bunch of excited tourists who then passed...
