Scotty Considers Doing Something After Realising Sydney Could Still Be Indoors For Australia Day
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
After having successfully pushed the burden of pandemic management onto state governing bodies, part-time Prime Minister Scott Morrison has had an odd thought...
Bachelor Insists Washing Bed Sheets Once A Year Is Purely For Ecological Reasons Or Some Shit
EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE | CONTACT
Today, local bachelor James Lunt confessed to being a whole new level of grubby today, when it was determined his bed sheets may...
NSW Bunnings Still Open In Case Scotty Needs DIY Photo Op
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
Despite the premier of New South Florida, Gladys Berijiklian, refusing to answer questions about why Bunnings is still open, The Advocate has obtained...
“People Have The Right To Free Will” Says Christian Man Who Led Anti-Abortion Protests
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce has confirmed today that he will be standing firm on his refusal to tell George Christensen to stop...
Britney Finally Released From 13 Year Lockdown
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
After another tough few days around the nation, there's some positive news to round out the week.
While the majority of Australians are...
JobKeeper Immediately Re-Instated As Canberra Goes Into Lockdown
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
There's finally some good news to report today, with the Government revealing that they are set to re-instate JobKeeper.
This livelihood saving announcement...
Frydenberg Tells Out Of Work People Waiting On Disaster Payments To Just Whip Out The Amex
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The nation’s treasurer has today issued some sage advice to anyone struggling financially because of these latest spicy cough outbreaks.
Fronting the media this...
Tamworth Farmer Quietly Relieved To Have An Excuse To Brush Dinner With Labor Voting In-Laws
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
While the New England hub of Tamworth is struggling through a week-long lockdown, there has been somewhat of a silver lining for one...
Bureau Of Statistics Apologise For The Way The Government Made Them Word The Religion Question
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
With the 2021 Census taking place tonight, the Australian Bureau Of Statistics has warned the public that a lot of people might...
Sydney And Melbourne Call Truce And Bond Over How Funny Is That Byron Is Going Into Lockdown
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
After over 18 months of throwing barbs at one another over who is handling this pandemic the worst, Sydney and Melbourne have...
