Today, local bachelor James Lunt confessed to being a whole new level of grubby today, when it was determined his bed sheets may have gone unwashed for some time.

This realisation is said to have occurred when his mum had stayed for the weekend and decided to spruce the place up with a spring clean. When a simple sniff test suggested the sheets were on the musty side, Jame’s mum had interrogated him on his cleaning schedule, only to be horrified when he’d merely shrugged and said ‘once a year.’

This is said to be in conjunction with the lone towel he used to dry himself, which James admits he only washes when it gets really wet.

However, there apparently is some method to this madness – namely, it’s all for ecological reasons and not because he’s a slob.

“Think of how much water I’m saving a year”, says James, “Washing your sheets all the time is such a waste.”

“I’m the only one sleeping in them and I don’t see a difference?”

Scratching what is clearly a fungal infection on his chin, James adds that he showers every night so it’s not like he’s bringing anything into bed anyway.

“I just don’t see the point if I’m clean? Seems a bit over the top.”

It’s alleged his mum had promptly stacked every sheet and pillowcase into the washer, and that James was later seen tentatively sniffing his sheets before awkwardly plonking himself down like a dog in a new bed.

More to come.


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