IN-Focus

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A coworker with a big stature is apparently a gym junkie, it has been confirmed. While holding the reigns to a white collar job that is pretty much just as boring as he is, the spreadsheet jockey has confirmed that he works out heaps, by deciding to only drink water out of a plastic protein powder shaker. Despite the...

LEROY PERCIVAL | Central-Coast Queensland Folk-Rock Editor | CONTACT Local producer Cooper Campese, who claims to have invented the EDM sub-genre 'Goose Step' on his Instagram bio, has today handed himself his own resignation letter after admitting that he never actually got around to writing any songs. The 20 year-old, who goes by the name DJ Scratchin' Tendulker, says that the decision came...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Patrons at Betoota's Lord Kidman Hotel stood in awe this afternoon as a local concreter, Rick (29), obliviously drank from a schooner glass with the coaster stuck to the bottom. Rick, who was initially acting a bit shy in the spotlight, said he has no idea how it happened. "Some of the punters were kind of into it... But some where...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Lewis Pynchon took the time this morning to thank Facebook for letting him know that it's Stan McCarthy's birthday today - a bloke he hasn't seen or heard of since he completed a COM305 group project with hin June 2009. "While I appreciate the sentiment, I'm going to have to pass on passing on my...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local alpha male who has taken on the duty of cooking all of the meat at a barbecue in the park, has nonchalantly poured beer on the hot plate several times now, as though it's some sort of traditionally family recipe. Friends say that there was absolutely no questions asked when local outdoor furniture retailer, Shaun (28)...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As Theo Delonghi pulled up to the intersection of Boyd and Longhurst in Betoota's Old City district, he noticed that he was about to get the green light to proceed across the intersection. However, some inconsiderate colostomy-bag-of-a-human-being, by his own description, had queued across said intersection - which caused mild inconvenience to the supplement store owner. So as the light...

SCOOTER WILSON | Fridays | Contact Coming to the end of a relatively short week, with his boss away on business and only one meeting to attend, a South Betoota project manager has desperately tried to keep the silly season alive this afternoon by hitting up every group chat he's in - trying to lock in a few after work. Campbell Lieberman...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The fact that it is about to rain quite heavily is a good enough reason to go to the pub, it has been confirmed. Local man, Rowan Dixon (27) should probably be getting home and making sure all of his windows are closed, but has somehow convinced himself that this is a good time to have a beer. "It's going...

20 March, 2017. 14:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia's peak scientific body has concluded this morning, after a decade-long study, that the rising global temperatures are having no effect on the amount of ice found in regional Australia. As first thought, the CSIRO predicted that as global warming and climate change wreak havoc on the nation's ecosystem and agriculture sectors,...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT THE in-flight entertainment options on a domestic flight are limited to later seasons in obscure TV shows, it has been confirmed. Passengers can choose between low quality airline content or movies that were advertised a lot but critically panned - with the option wide open to begin watching a new TV show, that you've never heard...