Inflation continues to cross boundaries once thought of as sacred as two slabs of beer is now the agreed upon payment for a mate that has helped you move out of a place you can no longer afford.

Despite professional movers existing, the best way to move house is to ask your mates to do it for free with the promise of beer after as if it wasn’t going to happen regardless.

However, the current real estate crisis means more people need help moving from a place they can’t afford anymore to a place they won’t be able to afford in another two or three years, moving around to less inhabitable spots like a hermit crab in reverse.

This excess of displaced people has led to able-bodied friends being in high demand and in a position where they can ask for two slabs as payment instead of the traditional one.

“I haven’t paid for a drink in months,” stated one ute owner.

“And it’s not just two of any slab, it’s two slabs of craft lager, like proper craft lager. I learnt the hard way craft slabs are 16 which should be a deportable offence but they cost as much as a real slab so no big deal.”

“It’s great because I’m saving money on drinks but bad because my friends who don’t own their own place, which is most of them, have had to move back home and I don’t get to see them anymore.”

“I am doing quite a lot of solo drinking which helps ease the back pain you get from hauling four different fridges down 12 flights of stairs.”


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